Mixed Breed

Schnoodle, yorkipoo, puggle, bagel ---sounds like somthing you would get in a jewish deli!
I don't want anyone to call me prejudiced but i am against all this mixing! What happened to pure blood lines? It used to be a "mutt"-- Now i am reading the new "perfect" pet is a labradoodle.

The poor thing reminds me of those guys in the eighties

who went and had their mullet permed.....

The opposite or the same as Hitler??

I looked at the list of the top 100 banned books from schools....Okay, i don't know all of the books on the list, but I CANNOT believe some of them....some of these are classics for crying out loud! These are the one's i could not believe....

3.I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (not an Angelou fan but how bad can this be?)
5.The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (classic - and gives exapmles how balck and white people are basically the same!)
6.Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (classic - difficult story but come on)
13.The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (classic)
14.The Giver by Lois Lowry (very interesting science fiction type book - but decent)
23 A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle (very good)
42To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (classic)
56 Cujo by Stephen King (Scary dog? haha)
57 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl (they made a cartoon for goodness sakes)
63 Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume (didn't read it growing up but come on....)
71 Lord of the Flies by William Golding (One of the greats)

Now these i understand why they were banned, BAN THEM, BURN THEM......
2.Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite (eewww!)
11.Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman (double eewww!)
15.It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris (i guess about being gay or bi)
29 The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein (what's new about it??)
19 Sex by Madonna (nothin' new here)

There is NO reson for these last books to be on the shelves in the schools---just because they print them doesn't mean we should drop all common sense and make them available to kids!!!

I'm not saying to actually burn them - sell them in a sleazy little shop where sleazy people go to buy sleazy trash like that. Keep them out of the schools!

Dancing When You're Old

I never could dance, i did the ballet and tap thing when i was younger. I even took baton lessons and didn't look half bad in my costume (at 7). I didn't really have any dancing experience again until high school and that was the 80's - we really didn't dance as much and jump and flail our arms (when we danced at all - most of the time the girls stood around in a circle and watched the boys in their circle playing the air guitar). Then there was my wedding - but we mostly slow danced and did the eighties jumping and flailing thing. My dear husband and i even took ballroom and while we were there we were GOOD. As soon as we left the building we forgot all we learned. I dance at home when no one is watching but even i don't think i'm very good.
Today we had a group of ladies who range in age from 55 to 78 and they make me feel bad about myself becuase i would love to be able to dance....and i would love to have the figure at their age that these gals have...............They are still having this much fun at their age!
The are known as the Strutters and are very popular....they have danced in Las vegas, Russia, Australia and many many more. Here they are with Savion Glover (greatest tap dancer in the world)

Monkees and a Pact with the Devil

Who didn't like Davy Jones in the monkees?

....boy have they all changed

Then................ Now

You see how i feel old --- have i changed this much - do i look this aweful?

Then...................... Now

I figure you have to amuse yourself while waiting in this adoption mess - so here are a few more....


Talk about a pact with some evil forces....has Matt Dillion even aged??
Then Now

Scott Baio has made a
pact with the devil
obviously!

OH MY GOODNESS!
Bay City Rollers


Rick Springfield - blaaaa

What were we thinking???

Warning to all young girls who idolize a pop star....

I was distubed and felt quite old today when i saw pictures of a few guys i had up on my wall in my room in the 70's. In the days to come i will show some of their pictures. It is disturbing thinking about their pictures on the wall as they are now....

Leif Garrett and Shaun Cassidy had the perfect feather and boy were they cute...or were we mentally disturbed???

Iraq and frozen hotdogs

We have friends from Iraq. I have watched the kids grow up the last 7 years and the two older girls are becoming beautiful women. They went to church with us today and i was so nerveous seeing our service through their eyes. How strange it must have been for a muslim to be in church with all the Christian pomp and ceremony. When they sent around the bread and juice cups i could see they were thinking how strange it all was. The people are what they crave--the fellowship---they can feel the love of Jesus coming through and it is so attractive to them....I love those kids and that family, they are so much a part of us yet so very different.

K got sick eating a frozen hotdog but refuses to take pepto bismo - K, if you are reading this i hope you feel better and you got some pepto - no more eating old hotdogs - no matter how frozen they have been!

I have over 100 bites!

Last night after i took a shower i wondered how i would know if i woke up with more bites - i still couldn't figure out what these things were. I thought if it were fleas i would have seen them in my house, if they were chiggers or spiders i would have just been bitten to have the marks show up on Tuesday and Wednesday. So, i cicled every bite with pen. If there were more the next day i would know it. I will tell you - i looked so funny when i was finished circling. I thought about taking a picture but didn't want to take a chance of anyone but me seeing it. You could definetly see a pattern. You could almost trace were these bugs traveled on me. EEWWW....it gives me the creeps!!
So, today i talked to a girl who swears they are chigger bites. She said I could have gotten the bites on Sunday and they show up a few days later.....that would be fantastic - that means i DO NOT have bugs in my house. I'm getting a little paranoid and thinking that coffee flecks (that are everywhere after DH makes coffee every morning) are little bugs and have to inspect them carefully.

I have always attracted bugs - is it my warmth? Mt Sweet blood? My winning personality? or does it have something to do with my "magnetism" (the reason i stop watches and other electronic devices)?

I must sign off for a full body scratch!

So I was thinking....i had two possible birthmothers that might have been interested in giving us their child and then there was the agency. So now we're just counting on the agency - who knows how long it will take - i want to me a mother by mother's day----i don't want to spend one more mother's day with empty arms......

So i think we have figured out these might be chigger bites. I have 48+ bites all over me and they ITCH!!! I don't think they could be fleas - i have not seen one bug at my house and i boiled, scoured and vaccuumed. I searched in every nook and cranny - nothing. I can't believe that i'm telling people i hope it's chiggers---at least i don't have an infestation then. Please God let it be chiggers. So far the dog has not scratched once.

I talked to my SIL (who now works for my OB/GYN) and she asked her about the letter i sent and the 15 year old. I'm so glad she is there or i would just be wondering if she got the letter. She said the girl was already in her third trimester when she mentioned it to me. Her adoption plan is already set. But, she said there are girls all the time that come in with the same situation. She wants me to give my SIL a letter that can be given to any other potential BMs....with lawyers name, e-mail and an introduction of us....that sounds promising!
In the meantime - we will carry on and do the home studies etc....

I got bitten by some fleck of a bug - all over. This thing was found in my bed in the morning and it looked like a fleck of dirt - very tiny. I put it in my hand and looked at it closely and it was moving. A tiny round flat blak.brown thing crawling. I guess its the thing that bit me.....what is it???

Yesterday a man came in to tell us about this article in the paper about this guy who wears high heels. My friend who "get me" an i saw him at the shwanky mall last fall. We kept wondering if he knew they were woman's shoes?? ANyway - he likes wearing them, they are comfortable on his feet - he even gets a french manicure ever month...lol

Have you ever had a headache so bad you get sick? I have toms-toms paying in my head and cannot harley see out of my eyes. Since i keep closing my eyes i am now to the point i can't keep them opened---i hate when this happens at work. YOuwonouldn't want a doctor or dentist to fall asleep at their job.....I NEED A NAP!

I haven't heard any more about anything - the 17 year old, the 15 year old or our acceptance from the agency.....it's all about patience!

"Our kids don’t belong to us, whether we birth them or adopt them,

we just borrow them for a few years while they’re growing up"

my mother used to say - "You raise your kids to leave home,..... you are their training".

I am going camping

Well, i'm going to go where there will be camping taking place. We will be in a cabin. I think it's primative though----well, it has a bathroom but it may not have a shower - just a bath. Does that count as camping? Anyway, it's a church retreat....it will be fun. It will be thre closet to camping as i have been in a long time. I was a girl scout and did a lot of camping and going to the bathroom in an outside latrine with a hole in the wood---yuck. I can't believe we used to think that was fun.....Now my idea of "rough it" is Howard Johnson's.

I got an E-mail from the agency and we are going to the approval commitee. Once that goes through - then the home studies begin and i have to get through our packet together - then we wait for someone to pick us.

I wrote this about a friend's daughter who died at 10 - it was very sad.

A delicate flower
Opening her tender arms to embrace the sun
The wind was sometimes burdensome, the soil a bit too harsh
A rare bud, one that comes from mixing two rare breeds
Sought for its illumination
Fragrance so sweet the aroma moves some to shed tears
The other foliage prospers around it making the rest of the garden seem dim
These tender flowers are not meant to live forever
God knows the beauty He created
and sometimes He desires a bouquet of His own.

Old Men Like me

A man asked me out today on the phone. I haven't had that happen since i was 18. The worst part of it is - he's probably in his 70s and very eccentric. The other man who is infatuated with me said he would give me his heart, lungs, liver, or whatever i needed. He wants to give me money and a new car and a new business. I have done nothing to warrent such affection - i assure you. But it's very difficult to bite my tongue and not say yes when he asks "isn't there something that you need money for?" - He told me he has never know true love until he met me!??? He doesn't give me the creeps but it is VERY weird.
Is that all i can attract?? Old men, eccentric old men who all seem out of their minds???
I feel deflated, i feel old, ugly and unattractive.

The man who asked my out was an actor who stared the movie Studs Lonigan in 1960 - his 2nd fiddle was Jack Nicholas. He thought the movie was out of print but I found him a copy on the internet and he was overjoyed - now he likes me - yikes. His name was Christopher Knight (yea, now it's Bobby Brady). He went to Harvard at 15 and when he graduated he tried his hand at acting. Universal signed him for 5 years and he kept turning down scipts. He finally did a movie with Sandra Dee and doesn't want to even remember it. He is very smart and thought the movie was just fluff. Universal let him get out of his contract after 4 years and he went back to school. He hangs onto some book that someone important gave him - he ALWAYS has it under his arm and sitting on the floor next to him when he works out---so odd.
We ordered a cheap copy of the movie to watch - we are all amazed he was an actor - now he wears cargo jeans, Harvard sweatshirts and a big bad toupe......these are the people who like me!

I have a friend who "gets me"- Do you have one of those?

She GETS ME! I can't say that about all my friends. I am a weird person sometimes. I think things and imagine things that people just don't "get". I have a high IQ but i wouldn't say i'm that kind of a person who is so smart, they are weird. I'm just weird...."artisitc and imaginative", my friend says, "eccentric". I'm so glad i have a friend who gets me, if you don't - find one!
We always have "an adventure" everywhere we go. I think that's really important - life is an adventure so find it - even if you have to look. We find fun in the most intersting things. No other people could go to the boring, strange movies we go to and find fun in them. No other people could go to the strange places we go and have fun and love the place.

Tonight we saw a crazy movie - "Junebug". Don't see it unless you really can find something out of nothing. The crazy thing is - we liked it. The funniest thing about the whole movie was there was a man in the back (only about 12 in the whole show) that was sound asleep and snoring. I turned around and he was laid back with his mouth open - he snored the whole movie - it was hilarious. We walked out in the parking lot after and saw a bag filled with magazines. Bending down and laughing already, we looked at it. Both, later saying we wondered if it was porn, my friend pulled at the few top magazines and sure enough - an asian woman with two paintbrushes in the right places. We laughed and decided we needed to throw it away so no one saw them. She was worried that if she got hit by a car crossing the street they would tell her family she had a bag of porn magazines on her at the time of death. We laughed all the way to the trashcan and back......
Then i forgot to tell her something so i walked up to her car. Waiting for her to unlock her door, a junebug (remember that was the name of the movie - i just thought about that) - A JUNEBUG started to go up my pantleg. I screamed and jumped and danced and kicked - i laugh now thinking about it! But its more fun when someone has witnessed this thing - a stranger, a family - all wondering if i had lost my mind....i had to explain myself through the tears of laughter....I hope that family has realized they had an adventure......

Last night I had the most vivid dream. They called and said they were bringing our child over. Then they were there handing me a girl who looked about 2--beautiful with greenish eyes, cute long, brown hair and i even remember she seemed like she had a stuffy nose and i wondered if it was a permanent thing or if she had a cold. They told us her name was Azriel (or something very close - started with an a and had a z in it). I looked over at DH and he had that "i don't like it" look on his face. They seemed so excited we would keep her name so i asked "would you mind if we had that as her middle name and maybe called her by that if she wants that?"

There was a man and two women and assumed the mother and father of this girl was handing her off. I heard the man talking to the social worker in my hallway that the girls parents died of tracheal cancer and esophageal cancer. Then i walked into the bedroom and i asked the woman, i had thought was her mother, about the parents and she was crying. I remember i asked "are you okay?" and then i thought "of course, she's giving up this child she loves". Anyway, i started to be concerned that the child would have cancer too. And i kept thinking about not having an infant - but i was thinking "we can go through with another adoption and we'll have an infant and a toddler - that's perfect"
It was so real that when i woke up i had to remind myself it did not happen.
This is one of the first times i have ever dreamt about having a child.

**When i got to work this morning i looked up Azriel. I had never heard it before but it means "God is my Aid" in Hebrew - One website said it meant "Angel of God".....weird............!!!

I did not want to forget to write about this being the 4th year after 9/11. I watched a program about flight 93 and remembered that horrible day when we thought that the whole country was being attacked and we didn't know what else would be hit. We sped off to get gas because we didn't know what crazyness would start and didn't know if it would be available. People were yelling at eachother at the pumps....it was scary. Everyone was scared. We were glued to Fox news for weeks after - trying to get any information we could - we could not believe it.....so many people dead, so many firemen and policemen who ran into the danger and died. The country swelled with patriotism and everyone was proud to be an American. How quickly that fades.

Yesterday we had our seminar at our agency. We walked in and sat down, sick as a dog and coughing my brains out. I sat down and looked at the guy sitting with his wife and thought "i think i've seen him before" then the wife looks at me, i look at her and she said my name. It was my cousin (or what we always called cousin - her grandmother is my mothers cousin). We saw them twice a year my whole life (maybe more if there was a family funeral or wedding)
What a small world that 10 couples sitting there and two would be related and not know the other was even at the agency much less coming to the seminar?
The day went by quickly, 9-4,because it was all interesting stuff - she covered about everything you wanted to know and more. Then at the end of the day there was a panel discussion. There was an adopted mom/dad and thier 2nd adopted baby, there was a birthmom who relingquished 17 years ago, and there were two bithmom/adopted moms. It was so interesting to hear their stories. I sat and listened to one and i thoujght i had heard the story before. It was a girl from my forum group-and i had follwed the whole story last year. It was so cool to put faces to the story. Her birthmom is beautiful and smart and mature and has my hair - i kept thinking "i want her for a birthmom". I told them that after and we laughed about it. I just pray that God provides someone like that for us. We had a lot of questions answered and i think it helped T a lot to ease his minds about a lot of fears.
It was a good day.

My friend is taking a poetry class and she told me about this assignment...you take 5 minutes, use exactly 2o words and no two words canbegin with the same letter. It really makes you think.....here's what happened....

First try - hopeless

Fortunes made around suspicions
Light through mist bounces off glass
No hope for darkness here
Poor intentions don’t changed easily

Second try - not much better but i like it ---it reminds me of my old people

Skin hanging loose with time and years
Clocks winding down from overuse
Death, placing a hand around fortune, rides us

I will hear more this week or next week about the girl that wants to put her baby up for adoption. She went to the doctor and she is healthy and so is the baby. 1/4 caucasion and 3/4 mexican. The girl is a beautiful 17 year old and she will not keep the baby for sure but i guess she still isn't sure what she wants to do....we'll see. The Uncle and Aunt said they will keep the baby but the girl does not want the baby in her family - her father doesn't know.

Whenever something really bad happens we, as human beings, try to find someone to blame. Everyone does it - since you were a kid whenever something happened you said "i didn't do it", or "Billy did it"(pointing to an infant who couldn't even reach the counter where the cookies used to be). Sometimes people blame God when there is no one else to put the blame on--when something can not be explained. This is what is happening now abou thte post-hurricane problems. Everyone wants to blame everybody else. Why can't we just say "no one knew what to do" why not everyone take the blame and get on with it. Things are being done - it was just that initial time between the storm and 3 days later when things started happening BIG TIME. I think everyone was in shock, stunned and no one knew which way to turn. Who would have thought that we would have to find places for a million five hundred thousand people? who would have thought a whole city could be destroyed. If it was nuclear or biological- you would not have the living to contend with (thank God it wasn't that) but i think we were prepared for everything but 1.5 million living and needing life sustaining help.

Stop blaming Govt., Christians, Muslims, God or whoever else you can think of - it's no one's fault, it happened---now open up your hearts and wallets and get going to DO something about it!

Okay - off the soapbox

Had a crazy Labor day weekend with SIL in the hospital getting operated on, i had the girls for a few days but i was so sick we just hung out at home and watched movies and went to the hospital. They are great girls - i can only hope mine will turn out so good. The littlest is so cute - a great age and boy what faces she can put on. This pic's my favorite.

Today was a turn around in the south. Everyone has been evactuated from the dome and now they are being evacuated from the covention center. Texas is giving everyone a place to stay and corporations are giving many donations. Hollywood stars are giving and showing up and helping. People have given homes away to families, offering to put people up in their own homes and offering transportation, supplies, whatever people need. States are sending trucks of supplies, firemen and national gourd. Even sporting good places are sending boats. Everyone is stepping up. Thank goodness that this world isn't falling to pieces just yet. I heard today that at the dome a man raped and killed a 7 year old child and ten men beat that man to death. That was just one thing i sat and listened to wondering where our world was headed. Today is a brighter day and things will just keep looking up.

The 15 year old that told my OB she was going to put her child up for adoption will be in the office next week - my SIL will see if she can remind the doc what i was thinking about it -----hope she hasn't made any solid plans.

We listened to the news this morning and heard about all the people that are still in New Orleans and there have been people dying---there is no place to go with the bodies so they just lay there or they have to drag their dead relatives behind them in the streets. I bet they fee like it's the end of the world. My heart goes out and i wish we could do something more.
I will say however, when i saw the conditions of the superdome my first thought was - it was the people who threw all the crap in the sinks and toilets...it was the people who were raping, beating and killing people in there. No wonder it's difficult going in there - it's lawless and scary. If you brought even 50 buses in there - people would be trampled and beaten so people could get to those buses. It's sad that there are people taking advantage of these situations. Looting to help feed your family is one thing - stealing televisions and cars. It's sad that the national gaurd has to come in with guns to keep people from hurting them or eachother.

i can't get over what is happening in New Orleans, Alabama and Mississippi. In New Orleans there are volunteers in boats that can't go out and rescue people because there are people shooting at them. It's like all Hell has broken loose and there are so many people left with nothing--there are just getting babies formula and diapers after 3 days. Some still don;t have fresh water or food. Some people knocked down old people to take their water - can you imagine? This world is so messed up and it feels wrong to want to bring children into this mess. Gas went up to $3.00 a gallon here and they said it will keep going up. Grain and food shipped in and out if New Orleans can't get through and will cause food prices to go up, the stock market is suffering and this is going to be a long struggle. To these people stranded i'm sure it feels like the end of the world - everywhere they look is a disaster area - nothing left--everything a mess. Now Cholera, Dyptheria and Typhoid are feared because of the stagnant water. God, bless these people!

Looking at the pictures on the news of refugees pushing or dragging their belongings down the highway looks like a scene from the news when talking about Africa or Haitii and war refugees. It's hard to imagine that this is in the US.