Life is a Mexican Restaurant

The pastor talked about it on Sunday morning and i can't get it out of my head. Life is a Mexican Restaurant.....

You go in thinking of the burrito you really love, it looks so good on the plate when they bring it and it tastes so wonderful, you'r mouth is watering. But, you have to wait for it - and in the meantime there are lots of chips and salsa and even though it's not the best thing for you and they are not the best chips and salsa you've ever had, you eat them and talk and eat some more. You eat them until the chips are gone and you are picking at the crums. You ask the waiter to bring even more chips and not to forget to fill up the salsa as well.....it's like eating one potato chip. Twenty minutes later your beautiful burrito is brought out to you, it's freshly made, hot and delicious----except you are stuffed with chips and salsa and there is no room for what you were waiting for.

We are waiting for an answer from God, we are waiting for God to show us what He wants from us - but we have to wait. We fill our lives with so many distractions and for so long that by the time God is showing us what we should do or what He wants from us we are to full of the small nonsensical stuff to really want it.....

Hurry Up and Wait!

I resisted this long in e-mailing the agency to ask what, if anything, was happening there. The mothers all picked someone else this time......we already knew that really. There are a "couple of mothers" in the process but not ready to look at profiles. I am still wondering of i should change anything in ours. Does it really matter that it is not perfect? Does it matter that i didn't mention we both sing? Sing together? Sing all the time, all over the house? Why didn't i mention that? Okay - if this is meant to be - they are not going to care about all that right???? right????

Oh, and we didn't win the lottery.....i guess you know that by now. Lincoln, Nebraska?? Why never here?? Why never me???

I WIN, I WIN!! (I WISH)

I used to say "if i ever won the lottery i wouldn't tell anyone but i would drive into the middle of Iowa somewhere and call everyone i know to tell them i had broken down and need their help--please come get me" Anyone that showed up would get $20,000." But you know, i've told that to so many people - i'm afraid they would all come - but not for the right reasons. I'm going to have to revise my strategy........

What would you do if you won? Would you scream? faint? be in shocked silence? cry? jump up and down?---I would probably do a combination of them all..... oh................ wouldn't it be loverly??????????

Words of Wisdom

"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preperation that only He can see" Corrie Ten Boom

I love that the people adopting from China has the red thread and the lady bug as a sort of symbol. It unites then somehow and they have a visable image of their journey.

"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regarless of time, place or circumbstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but never breaks" A Chinese proverb

The lady bug has no background in Chinese culture or history. A few years ago when many people were adopting from China there was a fall when the ladybug population grew unsually large. This was thought ot be a luck charm to those who were adopting,so now when lady bugs are seen, it is said that more beautiful chinese babies are being adopted. Is it like "whenever a bell rings an agel gets it's wings"?

Still, all the adopted parents need some sort of symbol, button, ribbon or something.......I'll think about that one......

Zero to Newborn in Sixty Seconds

We want to be picked!!! I want everyone to love us, think we would be awesome parents, look at our profile and refuse to see any more.....

I e-mailed the social worker to ask about how long we would have to wait - what the adverage was....she wrote:

"The wait in the caucasion program varies widely from folks getting selected the first time or two their profile are shown (rare) to a couple of years."

The agency's "longest wait" couple just got picked after almost two years. TWO YEARS!!!!?????
After waiting twelve ----two more shouldn't seem that long------ but it's an eternity..................

Face Your Fear

Someone reminded me today that we are all afraid. Everyone is afraid of something. To quote my friend, she said:

Everyone should skydive naked into the pulpit

It's funny but The point was well taken. On the list ofthe top 10 things people fear are skydiving, being naked in public and public speaking. Now I am NOT telling people to do any of these things, especially the three that were spoken, but I do think we need to sometimes take a step of faith and do things that we are afraid of......think about a few things that make you afraid, nerveous, uncomfortable. Things that you should be able to do but can't make yourself.

DO THEM!!

Adoption is Biblical

We already have heard the story of Moses - I think that was the first open adoption. His mother lived with the family and nursed him, took care of him etc. for the adopted mother.....

but a fellow blogger reminded me today of Psalm 113:

Halleluia
You who serve God, praise God.
Just to speak His name is praise.
Just to remember God is a blessing, now and tommorro and always.
From East to west, from dawn to dusk, keep lifting all your praise to God.
God is higher than anything and anyone, outshining everything you can see in the skies.
Who can compair with God, our God, who is so majestically enthroned,
surverying His most magnificent heavens and earth?
He picks up the poor from out of the dirt,
rescues the wretched who has been thrown out with the trash,
seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best,
He Gives Childless couples a family,
gives them joy as the parents of children.
Halleluia

Amen I say, and again i say Amen!!!

Adopted Mothers are Like Turtles

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa , officials said.

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean , then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

"It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP. "After it was swept away and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately , it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added. "The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.

This is a real story that shows that our differences don't matter much when we need the comfort of another . We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures of God - Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together.

I'm NOT a Writer!

Heard from our adoption social worker. We have NOT been picked as far as she knows. Because we want only semi-open and i'm going to be working It may take longer. Only one potential mother made comments about our profile---she felt that there were many typos but when the other councilor questioned it she only came up with a few monor things like spaces where she didn't think there should be a space. I'm not a writer, and I definetly don't claim to be......yikes - another thing in which I'm not good enough!

Like Not Getting Picked For American Idol

First of all, I don't mean to diminish the importance of being picked by a biomom--let me say that first.

You know how all the people on American Idol REALLY think they can sing? And then it hurts them so much when they are not picked? Someone who really sees them for what they really are turns them down - telling them they are NOT the best! That's how I am feeling. I guess I thought the two biomoms, looking at our profile, would both want us and the agency would have to decide who wanted us first--that would be the only fair way. But we haven't heard anything....how could they not think we would be the best parents for their baby?----what's wrong with us? What haven't we put into our profile that would convince them and show them how loving, honest, caring and bubbly we are??? I grin but tear up as i type this - I'm sort of totally serious!!?? What have they got that we haven't?----more money? A bigger house? other kids? ..........It's the stay at home thing isn't it??? Well???? What is it??????

Confusious say.....

I don't go much in for fortune cookies but they are fun - once T got a fortune that read

"You are the best person in the world"

he waved that thing around and showed it to everyone we saw for the next week. Then, strangely enough, he got the same one again a few months later. No one we know has ever gotten that at the restaurant we have eatedn at for 15 years! He is now a firm believer in forune cookies!! LOL

Okay, so were having lunch on T's birthday last week and we both got a cookie. His read

"Prosperity will knock on your door soon"

and mine read:

"Your dearest desire will come true"

The two things that we are desperately hoping for - more money and a little baby!!! I believe, i believe... lol

What's the Deal??

This blogging thing is intersting. I post for myself and really only for one person I know (hi K!)
Other people that i don't know read also - following along. I have a number of blogs I look at almost daily. But what gets me is the comment thing. I have made comments - honestly, like the bloggers try to be in their posts. But my "honest" opinion, not disrespectful or foul, will not get put onto the post because I guess it is in disagreement with the blogger. Strange, I will almost let anything be said except foul language or advertisement on my blog. Not as much for me but for other people reading. I want people that read my blog to see all the comments made - not just the ones that make me look right. Everyone has their opinions about this process.....so be it. Honesty?? ha

No More Christmas

I am taking down our Christmas tree tonight. The ornaments have been off for weeks but T likes to turn on the lights and look at it at night... I told him the neighbors are going to see it in the window and think we are either crazy or lazy......It's sad to take it down though. It's so dark in our house and it provides such a nice light. We contimplated leaving it up and decorating for each holiday....that was short lived (remember what i said about the neighbors).

I thought by now we would have at least a lead on a mother and have a child on it's way. This process is long and tedious. The wait could drive people crazy. At least before it was a 2 week wait then a let down for the next two - like a roller coaster----this is just waiting.................

Just Me Ranting and Raving

I don't know why I thought we would have already been called and told that one of the two girls would want us to be the parents for their child. I just imagined it to be too difficult to pass us up. Boy I'm concieted! Yesterday I took out the copy of our profile and looked at it as thought I didn't know us - like I was a mother ready to have their child in March. .....We looked ridiculous. I left things out!!!! It doesn't say we like to sing or sing together.....It does say T likes to write music - big deal - the idiots on American Idol who cannot sing on key all write music too.....ARG. It doesn't show our love, our compasion, our sense of humor.....that people like us, especially children. How do you show that in 9 pages? We are not writers, we are not adcertising agents (although i did go to school for that for a while). We needed to hire someone to put together our profile!!!

Why not us? What's wrong with us? How could you look at our profile and not think we are the best? Those other profiles were boring, the people not attractive (here I go being concieted again).....why not us???? We are unique, we are happy together, we like different things. Is it because we don't hunt? Don't like to camp or swim in lakes? Did we mention that even??? Do you not like taht I won't be at home?? How many women can do that? We are poor if i don't work - you want that???? ARGGGGGGGGGG.......why hasn't anyone called and told us they want us???????

I am hurt, sad, upset and angry

A boy that works where I do is 18, in Pharmacy school and going to have a baby with his girlfried - URG! Another boy who is 18 was just best man at his friend's wedding. He is also 18 and getting married because she is pregnant. The university in which they attend is making them marry so they can live together (something they would not allow without a certificate).

Okay, what are these kids doing? Could they not consider adoption?? Why are they doing this to themselves? It all just makes me mad!

?????????????????

I got an e-mail from the agency - all the waiting parents got one but i felt it may be directed towards me. I should not have listed the information below maybe. I didn't list names - just first initial. I want to keep a log of what happens - what i know - what i hear about it all. Why can't i list this information? I am careful not to put all info in. I hope this e-mail was directed to someone else.