6 copies!!!!!!

I went to Kinkos and got a good copy of my profile - in a spiral binder - looks pretty good really but cost $25(just for the sample) She told me 6 of them laminated will be $230!!! There is so much pressure to make something that someone will like - do we have enough about ourselves - do the pictures look good of us - do they make us look like nice, good parents-does our house look good enough......and on and on.
Once that is approved all we ahve to do is wait......the hardest part that i have no control over.
Then when we get picked i have to watch as a girl/woman has to hand over their child to total strangers. I don't know if i can be in the room when that happens......i am already a mess. This isn't like handing over the title and keys to your car and watching someone drive off, this is so much more....too emotional. Sometimes i wish the child was in an orphanage so we would not have to witness such an act of......what? Bravery? self-lessness? selfishness?